Let me start by explaining that we ‘celebrate’ Easter by eating chocolate, and watching cartoons. It’s NOT a religious holiday in our house, however I try to be open, honest, and as factual with my children as is appropriate. If you happen to be Christian, and are easily offended, you may want to stop reading now.
Early spring, several years ago, when my older children were rather small (I’m pretty sure it was the year before Loki started Kindergarten), my wonderful, curious boy was obsessed with ‘monsters’. Vampires, zombies, ghosts, you name it, the child was fascinated. Easter is coming up they’re seeing all the decorations and of course are curious, so I tell them the story of Easter, and they run off to play. No big deal.
A few hours later Loki comes up to me and says “Mama? Jesus died right?” to which I replied “yes”. Then he asked “and then he came back to life?”, and I said “Some people believe that.”. He was quite for a moment and then asked “soooo Jesus is a zombie?” I was washing dishes and really didn’t see why I should argue the point with a four year old, so I said something along the lines of “sure, go play”, and off he scampered.
Before I start the next part of the story, for those of you who don’t know, my older kids are 17 months apart and have always been very close. At this time with Loki being 4ish, it’s puts Ari at right around 3 to 3.5. They are also scary smart (and this isn’t just proud mama bragging, it’s documented lol)….
Now they’re off playing upstairs and Ari comes running down in absolute hysterics. I’m talking big ugly-crying sobs, SCREAMING, that it’s almost Easter and ‘Zombie Jesus’ is going to eat all our brains. *Proceed to epic face-palm* I try to calm her down by explaining that Jesus doesn’t eat anyone’s brain, and that if he came every year to do so, there would be no people left. But lets face it, a panicking 3 year old isn’t going to listen to logic. So in a moment of panic myself, willing to do anything to get her to chill out at this point I tell her that Jesus is allergic to eggs. Yes. Eggs.
And this is why the Easter Bunny brings them.
Now I’ve caught her attention.
Sniffling, she asks why the Easter Bunny brings eggs if Zombie Jesus is allergic to them. I’m just winging it now, trying to come up with some thing that makes some kind of sense, so I blurt out that the Easter Bunny and Zombie Jesus are enemies and the EB brings eggs so ZJ won’t eat the brains of the people in that house. No, I don’t know why they don’t like each other, they just do. Yes, the Easter Bunny must really like kids, because he leaves baskets of eggs for them. Sure! We can help him too. Yes, we can dye extra eggs so he doesn’t have to work so hard…
I didn’t realize that I was setting myself up for YEARS of dyeing DOZENS of hard-boiled every spring. I’ve looked up so many different methods of this that I could almost do it professionally, and even though I get strange looks buying six or seven 18 count cartons of eggs and several dye kits at a time, it’s worth it every year.